If you and your partner struggle to find shared hobbies, you might have a hard time developing recreational intimacy. Without basic compatibility in your preferred recreational activities, it can be difficult to further develop this intimacy type. This is especially true if you and your partner have widely diverging ideas of recreational activity. For instance, if you love to hike, run, and explore National Parks but your partner prefers being at home with a book or video games, there could be a disconnect.
Another potential for conflict is differing stress and/or, subsequently, energy levels. If one half of your partnership is under more stress, has a larger time commitment at work, or has lower energy levels than the other in general, it can make carving out recreational time feel like a chore rather than a benefit. With that being said, not all couples can, want, or are able to practice all twelve forms of intimacy. It’s important to consider what will serve you both best. Fostering intimacy requires both parties to meet halfway, so if you and your partner find yourself at an impasse, it could be worth a larger discussion or even a potential redirect to another intimacy type that better fits your lifestyles. Finding the specific intimacy forms that work best for your relationship (whether that’s two or all 12) is the key to ensuring a happy, healthy, and long-term partnership.