Whether or not you use porn regularly, bringing something new into your sexual experience can be just as exciting as it is daunting. We’re used to pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones in order to grow, and this doesn’t have to be any different in our relationships and sex lives. Attitude matters.
Asking for what we want with honesty, boundaries, and confidence isn’t always easy, but when it involves sex, desires are especially rooted in ways psychologists and philosophers have been trying to unlock for centuries. Pleasure, and being honest about what truly pleases us, are things that can be difficult to harness without incorporating patterns of guilt and shame from past experiences and conditioning.
So give yourself a break! Try embracing the awkwardness and brave the anxiety you might be feeling when inviting your partner to use porn with you. Remember, levity matters. Keep it joyful and short. Say something simple like, “I’ve been thinking it would be fun to experiment with watching porn with you. Do you want to talk about it?” And then listen. Even if things DO get weird when you broach the topic of porn, it might be an opportunity to have a conversation about other issues that need to surface.
Porn is everywhere. If you haven’t discussed it already, any conversation about porn with your partner is a great way to share more of yourself, practice boundaries, and learn about your bodies.
